Days 9-11 without Daddy - he's back today!...

...and not a moment too soon, as Deven just attempted his first head-first dive off the couch. Yep, the little guy has been showing off his rolling skills all week long, and today as I was looking up Daddy's & Daadi's flight info (they're 2 hours late), Deven was happily gurgling next to me...until he went head first off the couch. Luckily, I caught him in mid-flight down, so he didn't hit the ground, but he did end up head-down, screaming. Huh.

Back @ Work

My 1st 2 days back were pretty good. Went right into a new client meeting on Thursday afternoon, and kept very busy, which was good so I didn't mope about being away from Deven. His nanny was great with him - he seemed very happy both days when I saw him again (though he did have different, shorter sleeping schedules both nights, ugh!). She also

• Reorganized his drawers


• 'Found' outfits that are almost too small on him already (again!)


• Took some photos of him (him in the bouncer and smiling happily are ones she took - she's a pretty good photographer, huh?


• Suggested better ways to organize things, and


• Put him in his first pair of shoes. Super cute.

At the office, it was interesting the reception I got from colleagues who I barely know. Those who knew me well were happy to see me back, but those who I didn't know had 1 main question: "Are you back full time?" This was usually asked quite innocuously; but sometimes was asked with a tone and air of "...or are you a slacker who will try this part-time work thing?" I'm glad I'm back full time - my job (sales) is such that part-time would be next to impossible - customers don't care if you've got a kid you said you'd be home to by 3pm for...so I'd end up working full-time anyway, while being paid for part-time. Might as well do it all the way!

Thoughts from the Zen Room

As I sit here in my company's "Zen Room" (a small conference room with a lock on the door, meant to comply with the FMLA requirements for a private non-bathroom for women to pump in), I'm reflecting again on how lucky I am. We have a beautiful, healthy son, I'm in reasonably good shape physically & mentally, as is Yogesh, we have a competent, caring nanny & his mom coming over too, I have a job that I love, with a mission I believe in (and where a colleague even brought me welcome-back balloons!), and we live in a place we love.

I feel so lucky, that sometimes (like now) I worry when my luck will run out. I try to push the "panicked thoughts" out of my head, but after talking with some other moms, I think it's natural for us to worry: 'Is he ok? Is Yangchen crossing the street with him only when the 'Walk' signal is lit? Is she ill & thus he'll get sick? Changing his diaper when he's wet? Singing to him when he's fussy? Am *I* doing all of the things I should be doing, to help guide him to be a caring, productive citizen of this earth? Aargh!

To keep myself sane (somewhat debatable, I know) I tell myself continually that this working-baby raising lifestyle will be hard, but it will be worth it. We shall see! :-)

...and Nursing Musings

You may file this in the 'too much information' category, but I thought I'd share: Pumping @ work has been ok in the 2 times I've done it so far. But a problem I noticed a week ago is being exacerbated by pumping: I'm lopsided!

Not too noticeable to the untrained eye, but one breast produces MUCH more than the other (no, I won't tell you which one), to the tune of 2-3 ounces per pumping session! So, anyone know where I can buy bras with different cup sizes? ;-)