I have a pot. Evolutionarily speaking...

Yes, it's true. I have a pot - a pot-belly, that is. My dad (Naana) made this comment the other day, and he's right. I was whining about this to my midwives the other day as well, and Midwife Michelle made me feel better with this comment:
"Evolutionarily speaking, you're just where you should be - all those skinny moms who can fit into their pre-pregnancy jeans within 2 weeks, would've had trouble breastfeeding their infants and their babies would've been malnourished or died."
Yeah, so take that to the bank, skinny moms!


Add to that, Rohan's taking ~ 500 calories/day from me through breastfeeding, and that adds up to ~ 1 lb / week of weight loss. I have much more than a few lbs to go, but it took 9 mos to put it on...so up to 9 mos to take it off isn't too much to ask, is it? I did get rid of the pot I had after Deven was born (in fact I got into better shape, thanks to regular attendance at Baby Boot Camp), so I know I can do it again. I just have to avoid the yummy sweets we have around the house, and exercise a ton. Luckily I live in a city where outdoor activities aren't a problem, year-round. :)

VISIT FROM NAANI & NAANA
We had an excellent, if too short, Christmas visit from Naani & Naana. Naana got Deven (and Rohan) a wonderful wooden train set - perfect for little Marauder. Naani got lots of cute things for both, including a shirt for Rohan with "Bandit" on the front. So, Rohan will henceforth be known as Bandit. And note the cute yellow-n-white knit hats both are wearing in the first photo - those were knitted by Aunt Carol. Gorgeous - thank you!

Here's a photo of Naana holding Rohan. Very sweet, right? But Rohan didn't exactly put himself into Naana's good graces up-front. Howso? The first time Naana held Rohan, Rohan peed. Not just in his diaper, but out of his diaper, his onesie, his overalls, and Naana's shirt. Luckily we'd just given Dad some new turtlenecks for Christmas - otherwise Naana would've had to go topless as the laundry ran! (OK, not quite...but you get the point. I'm not sure whether my dad has yet forgiven my mom for handing him a leaky baby). :-)


We spent one afternoon in our small backyard, burying both Deven's and Rohan's placentas. Lest you think this is wierd, think about these next three comments:
- traditional societies bury placentas as well; in fact there's a saying in Hindi, where if an adult child won't leave a village and go find their fortune, they can be teased with the comment "What, are you still connected to your placenta?"
- humans are the only animals that don't eat their placentas as a regular course of birth
- if the parents don't take the placentas in a hospital setting, hospitals sell them to cosmetic companies. So next time you're applying your fancy Lancome lipstick, think about that.



Note the bottom of Deven's pants in this photo. As part of the burying, we transplanted some flower bulbs into the holes...and watered...which created the most terrific mud, which Deven LOVED. So much that we had to strip him down before we brought him back inside. Boys will be boys, I suppose!

Happy Christmas! 1-2, 5-6, 9-10

We will open most of our gifts when Naani and Naana arrive and we have a full day together on Saturday 12/27. It's been a nice lazy day here today - the rain finally stopped and we went to a tiny park nearby, Juri Commons, with the boys. Interesting history for the park - it used to be part of the San Francisco - San Jose train path before western train magnates created the Southern Pacific Railroad.

Deven's vocabulary has exploded lately - in part due to his age, his sweet new nanny who talks and sings to him constantly, and even gave him the cute guitar in the photos (his favorite song lately is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star), and I think, even his baby brother. His word for "milk" is "meuut" - and he has been very sweet with baby - noting that "baby meuut" comes from "mommy's bsts" (the breast pump is a source of endless fascination for him).

Deven is learning his numbers, and instead of saying 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10; he consistently skips a few figures and consistently says "1 - 2, 5 - 6, 9 - 10" - pretty cute.

He's also become a hugger, and a blower of kisses when he says goodbye - something we all appreciate and hope never changes.

To update my I FORGOT post - I also forgot:



- How fast newborns' fingernails grow! He's scratched me a few times, despite me having trimmed his nails 5 times already in his short 19-day lifespan!

- How fast newborns grow, in general - Rohan was just shy of 9 lbs at his 2-week Midwife checkup on Monday (this is very good for him - and for me, as I have quite a few pounds left to shed to get back down to my 'fighting weight' - and at ~ 500 calories / day, breastfeeding is one of the cheapest & easiest weight loss regimes out there!


- How much babies like (need?) to be moved to sleep and stop fussing sometimes. Deven and now his baby brother were/are partial to being bounced on the green exercise ball - this is sometimes the only thing that will calm them down. Thank goodness we have it - though as you can see, sometimes it can be hazardous to Daddy if he tries to lean back too far!

To update my ADMINISTRIVIA post - I went back to the Social Security office with all the paperwork I was told I needed; to have them say it would take over a month to get the social security number/card. Why so long (when Deven's took literally 6 days)? Because they
- have to verify the validity of the birth certificate (whaa? I didn't even HAVE ONE when I got the social security card for Deven...so you mean a hospital is more trustworthy than the City of San Francisco Vital Records' embossed/stamped birth certificate?
- have them question why I didn't give them originals of Rohan's pediatrician records (Whaa? They didn't say that! And like having the original doctor's chicken-scratch and no cover letter is ANY better than the copies that are clearly from Dr. Schwanke's office?)
- I finally had to do what I loathe doing: I had to raise my voice and accuse them of giving me false information the last time I was there, and via online/web information. That seemed to work, and while it won't speed the process, at least i shouldn't have to go back there again...I hope...

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Administrivia

Now I know why more people don't have babies @ home. It's not because the experience is hard (it's not) or there's a lot of pain (there is just as much in a hospital) or because there's higher risk (there isn't, assuming you're assisted by qualified Midwives as I was).

It's because of the administrivia! I knew that we'd have to go get Rohan's birth certificate ourselves - and that we'd have to bring Rohan down to the Department of Health to do so, both of us show up in person, AND have our midwife Nancy sign a form saying yes, she helped birth him...so that was all fine, and went essentially as planned.

But Rohan also needs a Social Security Number...so I got to deal with the Federal Government. Their website clearly says that you need a Birth Certificate (ok, got it) and that the same document can serve as ID and as Proof of Citizenship. Fine; so I march down to the nearest Social Security office and present Rohan's Birth Certificate.

Not enough!

No, they need a second form of ID. But wait...babies don't come out with RFID tags, or even just a valid California ID card and checkbook with pre-printed address.
So what do we do? It turns out, they'll also need a statement from his Pediatrician (?!?) to prove his status as a US person. Which is illogical, if you think about it. His pediatrician's office was great; but the statement they provided was: We have seen a newborn infant boy whose name we are told is Rohan Sherwood Sharma; who we are told was born on 12/7/08. We saw him 3 times, here are his records. But nowhere does the statement prove that this boy is my son, that this boy was born here, or even his age. Do they ask the Midwife (who has to swear that she was there @ the birth)? Nope. Nonsensical.

...and now I go back there, to see if they'll accept this nonsensical piece of paper I have from the pediatrician...


In other news, enjoy the rainbow I saw outside our window today - photo doesn't do it justice. As the rest of the country freezes, I love living in San Francisco!

I forgot...and I didn't know...

The early days with Deven went by so fast, that there are many things I forgot and - naturally, now that we have 2, that I didn't know then.

Some things that I forgot:

- How cute newborn facial expressions are. Toddlers are adorable, but they can control their facial expressions, and match them to how they're really feeling. Newborns...well, check out the photos.


- That newborns don't know how to nurse the minute they come out. And if they have short tongues - like Rohan - that can lead to real pain for mom (ouch! You get the idea...)

- That meconium is gross, sticky, and really hard to get off at 3am. The only thing that seems to help is olive oil, and being patient because it goes away in a couple of days. Lukcily it doesn't stink...too much.


- How soft newborn skin is. Toddler skin is still waaay softer than mine - but newborn skin is like an indescribable satin.

- That newborns need to be burped after nursing, pretty much every time. I couldn't figure out why Rohan was fussy after a good nurse in the first couple of days - then in moving him, he let a big belch and quieted down. Aaah, right...



And some things I didn't know:

- Some newborns make noise. Cute little coos, sighs, and breathing-sounds - and this is perfectly normal. Rohan is one of these little ones. We haven't uploaded it yet, but when he came out he was making so many sounds, I thought something was wrong, until I asked our Midwives- who said no, it's normal...and reminded me of my next point:


- All babies are different. Yeah, ok, I knew this intellectually, but in reality, I think I assumed that "because Deven did , Rohan will do too." Already, I've been wrong. They may look really similar, but our two sons are certainly different people.

- That older brothers can be very tender and sweet to their baby brothers, even at just 20 months old. Deven so far: recognizes Rohan, will point towards him when you ask "Where's Rohan?" and will not only say "Baby" but will bring Rohan's topi (hat) when you ask. He has touched Rohan lightly, and hasn't tried anything harmful...yet. Not bad for an otherwise marauding toddler.


- That silver nitrate can be used to cauterize the remaining cord-stump when the main cord-piece falls off - it doesn't hurt, and doesn't mess with any skin other than the moist stuff it's cauterizing. This treatment is much better than an infected cord-stump (like Deven had).

- That, with the right help, including a wonderful husband/dad, mother-in-law, nanny, friends, relatives far & near, and even supportive colleagues, this mother-of-two-under-two thing isn't so bad. :-)

Now that was fast! Introducing Rohan Sherwood Sharma

As it turns out, my prior post was almost correct. I wasn't in early labor when I signed off - I was in active (or 2nd stage) labor. The little guy was born ~ 2 hours later.


BABY STATS

Name: Rohan Sherwood Sharma

Derivation: Rohan \ro-han\ is of Old English, Irish and Sanskrit origin, and its meaning is "red-haired, red; ascending" or "sandalwood." Rohan is a very rare male first name and a very popular surname (source: 1990 U.S. Census). In 2007, it is approximately the 500th most popular boy's name in the U.S.

Born: Sunday, December 7, 2008, 5:13 p.m.
Location: At home in San Francisco, California
Weight: 8 lbs, 2 oz
Length: 22"
APGAR score: 9 (vigorous/healthy)
Look: Full head of hair
Smooshed ears (normal, should perk up soon)
A nose that's a cross between his Naani's (Grandma Gerda) & Daada's (OP Sharma's)
His dad's chin
Long fingernails (meaning he was ready!)
Big toes

(Photo here of Midwife Michelle weighing Rohan, Midwife Nancy in the background & Deven looking on)


LABOR STATS / COMPARISON

Total labor, this time: 6 hours
Total labor, last time: 26.5 hours

Pushing phase, this time: 3 minutes
Pushing phase, last time: 3 hours

Water broke, this time: Right before pushing
Water broke, last time: To start labor

Baby's position coming out, this time: Normal / face-down (or face-back)
Baby's position coming out, last time: Sunny-side up / face up towards my front

Noise I made this time in the hard parts: "Opie Opie" (Deven's word for "Open") - and crying/whimpering.
Noise I made last time in the hard parts: Mooing...yes, like a cow...for 6 hours.

THE BIRTH STORY

- I had been having false-labor contractions for at least a week. Whenever I'd get even a bit dehydrated or tired, my body would start contracting and I'd think "Is this it?" - and it wouldn't be. So I'd learned to not think of contractions as "real" labor.
- I hadn't been able to tie my own shoes for a week.
- My ankle still hurt from where I'd fallen, but I'd turned myself GBS-negative, and I thus remembered the phrase "Life throws at you only that which you can bear" - indicating that Cupcake would make his entrance soon.



- Sunday morning, I suddenly got very tired ~ 11:00am. Laid down, and was having contractions. I ignored them, because we still had (have) a ton of stuff to complete.
- 12:00pm, I told Yogesh about the contractions. He had to go on a few store-runs and was nervous, but I insisted he go.
- ~12:30pm I took a shower. Had the incredible urge to clean some small moldy areas...and as the same thing happened with Deven, I should've recognized that sign, then.
- Yogesh came back, and called my close friend Danielle, who'd agreed to come help.
- I got some work done until ~ 3:00pm, stopping every contraction to let it hit and then get another 5 minutes of work done. Didn't finish all I wanted to finish before the baby, but at least completed a weekly report.
- I ate ~ 1/2 of some yummy soup with my mom's meatballs and Daadi's veggies.
- Called the midwives, & Michelle arrived ~ 3:30pm.
- Michelle checked me ~ 3:45pm, and found that I was 7 - 8 cm dialated (pushing starts @ ~ 10 cm), -1 station (meaning baby's head was ~ 1 cm away from my cervix, I think), and Cupcake's water bag was intact but protruding thru my cervix. This is fine - in fact good for the baby as he was completely protected from any infection so long as he was in his water bag. I was encouraged to hear I'd progressed along so far.
- The tub was full by this point, but we'd been a bit overzealous in filling it with hot water, and I saw Danielle putting ice cubes into the enormous tub. Made me smile - at least until the next contraction.
- I labored in our bathroom, leaning over the sink and holding Danielle's or Michelle's hand, or leaning over the bed. I felt wonderfully cared for, and glad I was at home where I wasn't offered unnecessary drugs (that could've harmed Cupcake or me) - only the support of knowledgeable and caring people who wanted the safest birth for me & Cupcake.
- The tub was finally cool enough to get in, so I did ~ 4:20pm. Midwife Nancy arrived sometime around then, and Maria arrived as well (they always have 1 certified midwife for the Mom & 1 for the baby - Michelle is still an apprentice).
- The tub made labor slow down...or I think it did. Suddenly, I felt like the proverbial watched pot...and I was going to boil in the hot water. No matter...
- Contractions were so strong that each one made me want to cry. I wanted to throw up (but didn't). Danielle told me later that my crying made her want to cry - but she was tough!


- I wanted to get out of the tub. Feeling watched wasn't feeling good.
- Things kept moving 'down' but I couldn't tell much - Cupcake was still in his water bag; I still wasn't ready to push yet.
- I moved to the bed, and got on all-fours. Alternated crying, "Opie-opie" and humming my way thru contractions. Seriously strong...
- ~ 5:05pm, Michelle checked me again; and felt a dreaded "swollen lip" - part of my cervix was caught between the baby's head and my pubic bone. This same thing happened with Deven; and I recalled how painful it had been when the midwives then tried to move it (it almost made me faint then, and I wasn't seeking a repeat performance). I started to panic a bit; but the contractions were so strong I didn't have time to fret about the fat-lip much.
- 5:08pm: My water broke...ALL over. Of course, we'd prepared with a waterproof sheet covered with old/stainable bedding, so the bed was fine...but that's when things got exciting.
- Nancy (head Midwife) noticed that the water had a lot of meconium in it. Meconium is the sterile baby-poop that ~ 30% of babies make in utero. It can be a sign of distress, and can be harmful if babies make meconium then aspirate (breathe) it in labor...obviously there's no space for oxygen then, when they come out.
- Nancy said that with that much meconium (there were many quarter-sized greyish chunks in the water), we'd have to transfer to the hospital. I was horrified. I couldn't say it at the time, but I knew the baby'd moved down a lot when his water broke; and I was on the verge of pushing. I didn't mind the hospital so much (trusted St. Luke's as Deven was born there); but did NOT relish the idea of birthing in the car, or even worse on our LOOONG set of stairs.
Yogesh wisely jumped into the closet area to put on jeans, as he thought he'd have to drive.

- 5:10, I just sort of ignored Nancy, kept squatting on my bed, and started pushing. Didn't mean to ignore her (I trusted her judgement), but I felt Cupcake move a LOT with every push. The dreaded "ring of fire" happened - that's when the baby's head crowns and stretches all the mom's membranes. I think all 3 midwives told me to slow down (to avoid tearing my little perineum) - I recall hearing Nancy's "Midwife voice" and other voices. I tried to listen, but it's awfully hard to do so when you have a 10 cm diameter head stuck between your thighs. I think I was screaming.
- 5:12pm, Cupcake's head appeared, fully outside mine. I recall relief that the worst was over, and desire to get it fully done-with.
- 5:13pm: The rest of his body followed in 1 push. He was crying a lot - which is a great sign especially since he'd had meconium. I was SOOO relieved that we wouldn't have to transfer. I had a hard time laying down, but did with Midwife Maria's help, and Cupcake was laid next to me.
- 5:19, Yogesh cut the cord; and 1 minute later, the placenta came in a gentle push.
- The midwives ensured that Cupcake - now Rohan - was ok, then Maria left.
- I did have a "stage 2 tear" in my perineum, which Michelle stitched while Nancy supervised, and Yogesh, Danielle, and everyone else cooed over Rohan.
- ~ 6:30pm, we let Deven in to meet Rohan. Deven was very well behaved - interested, and gentle with Rohan so far. Daadi was happy to come meet her newest grandson - she'd heard the noise from the other end of the house and had been nervous (and waiting to use the bathroom all that time!)

All in all, becoming a 2nd-time mom was easier than becoming a mom for the 1st time. Murphy's Law will thus ensure that there will be MUCH more challenging times down the road... :-)

http://sherwoodsharma.com/

GBS Negative! Not a minute too soon...

Photos are of Deven and his friend Ameya putting on 'prince and princess crowns' - something she likes to do, and since he likes to copy...he likes to do.


I got my test results back and the cocktail of probiotics I took at the suggestion of my midwives worked - I've changed my status to GBS-negative! This is great news, b/c it means I don't have any reason for antibiotics in labor.

Which is very good...because I think I'm now in early labor.
:-) More to come...

The Boo Game...and the Waiting Game

Deven's favorite game lately is BOO! These shots are from us playing together. He's hiding along the side of the bed, and popping out to surprise me. It's now my favorite game, too. :)


Notice in the background, the green exercise-ball and the blue thing. Both are useful for birth. That blue thing is a rented Aqua Doula birthing tub we've set up to help ease Cupcake's arrival. It will be lined with a disposable plastic liner, into which we pour LOTS of hot water. Enough hot water that my dad asked for the dimensions and we did some quick calculations together...and decided that we shouldn't reach 1 ton of water here, but we shouldn't overfill the thing...

No word yet on the outcomes of my latest GBS test. We'll get the results by Friday. I've been taking my probiotic cocktail and doing what my Midwives said to do, faithfully (ok, still eating too much sugar, but otherwise - I'm doing all I can) - so fingers and toes crossed it comes back negative.

In general, we're not ready for Cupcake's arrival yet. We still haven't found all of Deven's newborn-sized clothing & receiving blankets; don't have a dresser for Daadi so don't have enough storage space; don't have a contract for the new Nanny yet (though we like her, we're offering it to her only Thursday and though she seems happy with us so far too, there might be something we're missing). I just brought on a new employee @ work and have some unfinished-business there, too. The new employee is great, but he's also not up to speed yet. Our home papers are a total mess - important things buried in a big box yet-to-be-filed...and I groan to think about the photos loose, online, unfiled/unprinted/unorganized.

And no, I haven't come NEAR to being ready with Christmas shopping, or card-design-making, and I've been nagging Yogesh to set up the tree NOW so if Cupcake comes, we at least have a proper Christmas tree. But it's not done yet...So no, we're not ready. At least we paid the property taxes and credit-card bills due this month.

If my ankle would just heal, maybe then things would be more ready, despite all the unfinished business. Oh, and we have our Birth group coming to our house on Saturday morning - assuming I'm not in labor yet then; and I'd kind of like to have Daadi meet them so she's less nervous about the whole thing. We'll see!