Deven's words, and expanding family

When Yogesh left 12 days ago, Deven was saying 1 thing for "Cat" - but now already has a new set of words. The ones I can remember offhand include:

Cat = "Tats" or "Baaao"
Daddy = "DaDa"
Mommy = "DaDa" (still) - or incessant whining.
Daadi = "Daadi" (said perfectly)
Whining = "MaMa"
Oops = "Uh-oh"
Toothbrush = "Bish"
Bye = "Bi"

Daddy's coming back today! Ye! He caught an earlier flight and, despite the in-flight annoyances he's mentioned to me on email, he should be home in about 2 hours. Cool. Trying to keep Deven up for that, though that may be a very bad idea. :-)

Assuming all goes well, this should be Yogesh's last Father's Day as the father of one. Yep, you heard it right: Deven will become a cousin in November, and a big brother to this little Cupcake sometime in December (click on each photo if you want to see a larger view):

- Back View


- Upside down


- Top of head & hand


- Face & body

To preempt some questions:
- I'm feeling great. My goal this pregnancy is to NOT gain the 60 lbs I gained with Deven. So far, I'm up 9 lbs and doing fine.
- No, we don't know the sex yet. Yes, we do plan to find out.
- Yes, we do have a boy and a girl name (likely) chosen already; but we reserve the right to change our minds; so no, we're not tellin' yet. It's hard with bi-cultural families - we do want something that "works" in both Hindi and English. And yes, Mom, I was hurt when you said you didn't like one of the choices I floated by you - you may have a grandchild named that, regardless of your opinion.
- Yes, we want the little one to come this year, for the tax writeoff. :)
- Yes, I've told my office already. Everyone so far has accepted the news with graciousness.
- More on our birth location choice in a future post.

What kids teach us about work

Specifically:

- When you ask someone to help you find your red sippy-cup (important-and-urgent for you), remember that your need for the red sippy-cup may not be their top priority. The purple chew-toy they were mouthing before you came along may be MUCH more important than your latest red-sippy-cup-need.

- If they respond back in a snippy way, remember that you may not know WHY the purple chew-toy is more important to them than your red sippy-cup...and don't go repeating your request so other people with bigger, more-colorful chew-toys can hear. They heard you the first time, but just were using selective hearing. (Now I know that this skill is learned in the toddler years, when purple chew-toys and red sippy-cups are vital teething tools).

- When they DO come to you, after finishing gnawing on their purple chew-toy, and grunt and ask to learn more about your red-sippy-cup-needs, accept their interest graciously, and use your "happy voice" to explain it. Getting them excited may be tough (remember, their teeth still hurt, and other stuff IS going on for them...and for God's sake, you're asking for a SIPPY CUP after all, which you lose every day!); but charm gets you everywhere in this situation.

- When they mention that their teeth hurt, and in fact their nose was running at the time, too (meaning your red-sippy-cup-needs likely wouldn't get met immediately, with or without their help); don't defend your actions. Instead, listen with empathy and ask if you can get them some ice for their gums.

- Especially don't defend your actions, when you repeated your request in a holier-than-thou voice in front of people with bigger, more-important chew-toys. That's not nice, and just makes them mad. If you haven't seen a toddler when mad lately, come to our house...it's not a pretty sight.

- Most importantly, making them mad will ensure you DON'T get any help from them in fiding your red sippy cup. Maybe if you'd just played nice, they'd have helped you more...but they're back to gnawing on their purple chew-toy, and you're still stuck searching, with one less ally to help you find that cup.


Morals of the story
- Know your toddler's situation - are they teething? Runny nose? (and if you can't figure it out first, don't assume you know everything)
- Don't assume that they're ignoring you on purpose (they really may be busy)
- And above all else, don't embarass your toddler - your hubris will not yield the results you were seeking - even if you were right about the whole thing.

BlackBerry Man

Deven, like most toddlers, is fascinated with all things expensive, delicate, dangerous, and technological. Our BlackBerry phones fit into this last category - and if he gets his hands on one before it's locked; woe-is-the-owner whose boss/colleague/friend/random contact is called on accident as Deven pushes buttons.
(video coming as soon as it finishes uploading).

Our little technologist...growing up fast!


In other news, Daddy Yogesh left tonight for 12 days in India (fun time to go - the forecast in Delhi is for 104-Farenheit by the time he arrives this weekend). Wow.

Where Do Working Moms Meet?

Why, at the Pediatrician, of course!

I saw an old friend, a Mom's Group member, Jackie - and daughter Hannah and hubby Josh today. We haven't seen each other in months; though she (and the group) was arguably one of the primary reasons I didn't go completely nuts in the first couple of months of Deven's life.

I'm a member of GGMG, a great, huge network of San Francisco moms - and through that, I joined a Playgroup of other Working Moms with babes born in April '07. I met great moms - one of whom is Jackie, Hannah's mom. (Her husband, Josh, kept a fabulous blog about his time with Hannah for mos 3 - 6 on Paternity Leave - too cute, but Hannah's grown SO much, wow).
I learned some fun news - the type you don't get when you haven't seen someone you like in a while: Jackie won't be just Hannah's mom for long - she's due with #2 in August. Congrats, to Jackie, Josh, Hannah, and "bump."

Good news from the visit - we were at Dr. Schwanke's to see whether Deven had beaten the ear infection, and seems he has, even without antibiotics. Supposedly this will make him stronger for the next ear infection - either that, or it'll be even tougher (depending on who you talk to).

In other news, my trip back to MD for the women's lacrosse National Tournament was a success (I'm an umpire and had to be reviewed on-field for my National rating), even though I had to go solo b/c of Deven's ear infection. I was able to renew my rating for 4 years - the longest they allow. Phew!

Otitis Media

Otitis Media is the formal name for "Ear Infection" - what Deven now has. Poor little guy - he (and his buddy Noah) both caught a sniffle last week (which one was Patient Zero is still TBC - likely both of them); and both now have ear infections. He's been in a lot of pain, and not himself lately, so we took Deven to the Pediatrician this afternoon.

Dr. Schwanke was concerned not only about his runny nose & cough (what we were concerned about), but also his left ear, which is slightly infected and swollen; and right ear which is more infected and swollen. That said, the treatment nowadays for children like Deven who are otherwise healthy, is to NOT give them antibiotics - pain medication only. The thought is that they should be able to manage the infection on their own (how the Brits do it - or the "tough it out" approach); and that if they can't shake it on their own, then antibiotics - but chronic antibiotic treatment creates a sort of dependency on antibiotics for future infections.

So, we wait. And Deven will likely NOT accompany me to MD this weekend - I'm headed back to the National Tournament, to try for my National rating renewal as a women's lacrosse umpire. I'm really sad that he may not come, but flying with a sick child isn't fair to him or the other passengers; and it's also certainly not easy!

Here's hoping for a speedy recovery...

You heard it here first...

...or not, if you've talked to Naani Gerda:

Mausi Heather & Mausa Tommy are expecting! Due November 20, 2008 (though everyone knows babies never show up on their due-date).

Today is also their 3rd anniversary.

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

Deven's First Egg

...on his head, that is. Got it when he lost the battle with a dining-room chair on Saturday morning - I woke up to find the little guy with a nasty purple egg, 1/2" raised off his scalp, and a matching cheek-bruise.

Daadi felt terrible because it happened while she was with him, but it wasn't her fault - how could she have stopped the Marauder from under the dining table? We've reassured her that this is just the first of many, and she felt better. It didn't hurt that he was up & running around again within seconds of the accident, either. I just wonder how closely he'll run to the dining chairs now that he has his very own Egg.

FRIENDS
- Darned, I just lost a few pieces I wrote here. Damned technology. Anyway, was great to see Christie and meet her friends here last Friday. Christie, we miss you already!

Nighttime Grumps

Deven is like his father (shocker, I know...) But, ok, you say - how? Both of them can be sleeping soundly - and the slightest breeze, or rattle, or footstep can cause both of them to awaken, INCREDIBLY grumpy. Deven shrieks, cries, and creates a general ruckus - where his father curses, grumbles, and pulls the covers off of his innocent spouse (that would be me). Neither of them remember any horrid behavior the next morning. Harrumph.



Family news: Yogesh's dad (Daada) is doing very well, post-heart attack and angioplasty. In fact, he's feeling better than ever, and as he's on strict orders to not smoke, he's even taking better care of himself. He's happily painting away in Delhi (see http://omprakash.in/ for some of his works), and Daadi is staying here, for now at least. Given that the weather is expected to be in the low-mid 40s (doesn't sound so bad, you say? I'm talking METRIC here - that's 100 - 110, Farenheit!), with "high dust" - we keep shuddering to think how miserable it is there.

First photo from a going-away party @ Jill's house for Linda, a mentor and friend in the lacrosse world; 2nd photo from a recent walk along 24th Street.

Like an Elephant for a Penny

"Sure you can buy an elephant for a penny, but then you have to [spend lots more money to] feed it, clean it, keep it healthy."

This is a direct quote from Daadi, when discussing why we didn't actually want to bid on a home in the East Bay that we liked a lot. She's right...

(above photo of Daadi and Deven's little buddy Noah)

Bye-bye, Daadi...maybe

What a difference a few hours makes.


We got a call on Saturday morning, that Yogesh's dad had suffered a heart attack, and was in intensive care in a hospital in India. He's just received Angioplasty, and is OK (as ok as you can be after a "minor" heart attack and Angioplasty!) - and Yogesh's brother is there with him now.

When Daadi heard this, she (understandably) wanted to go home to tend to Daada. Well, *he* heard this and said NO - he didn't want her help (proud, stubborn - doesn't want the help...hmm, who's that sound like? But I digress)

So, MAYBE, Yogesh and Daadi will be leaving us on the Monday 6:00am flight to Delhi. Or maybe not. Most of us think it's a good idea for her to go be with him; but he's insistent that she be here with Deven (which we, and Deven, naturally want!) She's bound by duty to go back, but by desire to stay with Deven, to stay here. What a choice! And she's no spring chicken either - travel is hard for her, too.

The next flight out that she can get without a $3,000 change-fee is next week. So, the drama continues. Will Daadi be here? Will she go back? Who knows?