Deven's ABC Adventure

Much more appropriate than the last blog, check out Deven's first book. You can even create your own (of Deven or another child of your choice) at this site...enjoy!

Like a Haryana Buffalo

Daadi Meets Deven

Daadi arrived with Yogesh on Saturday, none the worse after their 28-hour trip (which, according to Yogesh, was much better on Air France/Delta through Paris-CDG than the prior trip on Air India, despite the fact that neither one of them parles-vous Francias).

It’s been such a pleasure to watch her interact with Deven. I feel like the protagonist from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, when he transforms into the nice Grinch – my heart expands “2 sizes” every time I see them together. Her face instantly loses 10 years when she looks at him, and she makes these cute high-pitched sounds that I’ve never heard before, not even when she interacted with other friends’ babies. She coos and chirps to him, excited when he smiles or moves his head or even just wiggles his legs and drools. He of course takes it all in, grins, giggles, and warbles back to her, chews his fingers and toes when she smiles at him, and listens as intently to her speaking in Hindi as he listens to me speak in English.

When Daadi stayed with us last year, it was a fight every time we wanted her to leave our home with us (we live on the 3rd floor & up a loooong flight of stairs, so it’s understandable). But this time, the day after she arrived, she was dressed & ready to go ‘baby shopping’ on Sunday afternoon – she has a purpose now! You see, we had to go to the craft store, as there was wool (yarn) to be bought so she could knit sweaters for Deven, after all!

Business Travel Blues

In my 20’s, traveling for any reason was great – particularly international travel. To Taipei for a 2-hour meeting, Shanghai for a conference, Seoul or Mumbai for vacation & school trips – all manners of flight were fun. I earned frequent flier status on United (1k) & American (Diamond); as well as @ the Hyatt, Marriott, and Inter-Continental hotel chains; my passport was full of stamps; and I felt ultra-important click-clicking my high heeled pumps through unfamiliar airport terminals, listening to the sounds of other languages over the loudspeakers.

Flying was fun – you could arrive at the airport 30 minutes before an international flight; be whisked through security (as a Very Important Frequent Flier, the flight staff would bend over backwards to help you feel Very Important), and sit down with a mimosa before takeoff. Even when I traveled in the consulting business a year ago, flights & hotels were OK because I didn’t have a desperate desire to get to my own bed in my own home and nurse my baby.

But now, as I sit on a flight for my first 36 hours away from Deven (en route to San Diego for a 2-day training), I’m almost sick to my stomach. I miss him like crazy already, though I’ve only been away from him for 2.5 hours. The flight staff haven’t been bad to me on this trip, but here’s what I’ve noticed already:

• The gate crew was incredibly surly and condescending to an elderly woman (Why? She was just asking for gate confirmation, for Pete’s sake! Would it have hurt them so terribly to be nice, or at least respectful?)


• The mom traveling with a toddler girl was treated very well by other passengers, particularly when the little girl started waving “bye-bye.” Oh, how I wanted to hold Deven when I saw them! Is it normal to be jealous when seeing other moms with their babies?


• I’ve endured a 15-minute wait for a stale 1-day old sandwich and over-sweetened tea from the airport Peete’s; sandwich of course made with nutritionally-absent white bread and sugar-added cranberry sauce on the turkey. Sigh.


• The onboard staff giggled and ignored customers waiting in line for the bathroom, clearly ‘antsy’ and needing to go. They would not allow us steerage-class passengers to head to the forward lavatory because that needed to remain empty for the 1st class passengers.


• My own physical limitations – I’m traveling with the breast pump (and breasts that were ‘empty’ as of 4:45am) – but I know I’ll need to fill the little bottles and baggies that I brought soon, or else this training course is going to be very uncomfortable. :-)

Coming Home

…Writing this portion of the blog the next day as I head home from the training, I’m really excited to see Deven (and Yogesh and Daadi) ASAP – and yet am glad I came. The training I attended was a sales training by the well-known Miller Heiman group; taking it with my VP Sales and another colleague was educational and energizing.

Work is already piling up back at the office (I have one major account already plus 2 more great potentials, each of which requires intense care & feeding). But, as this training helped me realize – I was meant to be a ‘working mom’ – not a stay-at-home. I’m looking forward to jumping back in, helping these clients solve some tough problems, and feel the energy (pun intended – I sell solar & energy efficiency) when we partner together.

As expected, I felt incredibly lonely last night falling asleep in the hotel bed by myself, but after the midnight-bathroom visits of pregnancy followed by a multiple-awakening-per-night son, I can’t say I minded having my first night of completely uninterrupted sleep in almost a year. :-)

After 3 calls to the hotel concierge yesterday, I finally got a mini-refrigerator in my room (apparently they don’t put them in all rooms any more); so the whole pumping-regularly routine wasn’t so bad. I was really worried about the TSA liquid restrictions (no more than 3 ounces, milk only if with a baby, I’ve heard of moms being forced to dump breastmilk, etc.) but in the airport returning home, my fears were unfounded. The screeners were polite and didn’t even examine my cooler-pack of expressed milk too closely. Phew.

My parents are returning from their 40th Anniversary Alaska cruise & Denali vacation as well, and I’m excited to see them again and hear all about it. They’re going to stay with us again through 8/28, so we’re giving the nanny a few days off, and I’m looking forward to a long weekend of family time.

Of Breastpumps and Buffalos


When Daadi first arrived, one thing we made clear was that I planned to breastfeed at home (and out), with little reservation or modesty. It’s just too difficult to always move to another room, or find a blanket to cover up – when Deven cries, I’m much more of a “whip-it-out-and-you-deal-with-it-if-you-don’t-like-it” kind of mom. And, when she first saw me breastpumping after feeding Deven, she was intrigued. She immediately likened me to…you guessed it…a Haryana buffalo.

After Yogesh picked himself up off the floor (where he’d been convulsing in laughter), he translated her words, and the reasoning:

Why? Well, it turns out that the Murrah cows in Haryana state are known to produce more, creamier, milk than their counterparts from other states. They can nurse their calves and still produce extra milk. India’s vast appetite for ghee (clarified butter) often comes from Haryana buffalos. It’s not the first time I’ve been called a cow; but it’s certainly one of the most entertaining.

Days 9-11 without Daddy - he's back today!...

...and not a moment too soon, as Deven just attempted his first head-first dive off the couch. Yep, the little guy has been showing off his rolling skills all week long, and today as I was looking up Daddy's & Daadi's flight info (they're 2 hours late), Deven was happily gurgling next to me...until he went head first off the couch. Luckily, I caught him in mid-flight down, so he didn't hit the ground, but he did end up head-down, screaming. Huh.

Back @ Work

My 1st 2 days back were pretty good. Went right into a new client meeting on Thursday afternoon, and kept very busy, which was good so I didn't mope about being away from Deven. His nanny was great with him - he seemed very happy both days when I saw him again (though he did have different, shorter sleeping schedules both nights, ugh!). She also

• Reorganized his drawers


• 'Found' outfits that are almost too small on him already (again!)


• Took some photos of him (him in the bouncer and smiling happily are ones she took - she's a pretty good photographer, huh?


• Suggested better ways to organize things, and


• Put him in his first pair of shoes. Super cute.

At the office, it was interesting the reception I got from colleagues who I barely know. Those who knew me well were happy to see me back, but those who I didn't know had 1 main question: "Are you back full time?" This was usually asked quite innocuously; but sometimes was asked with a tone and air of "...or are you a slacker who will try this part-time work thing?" I'm glad I'm back full time - my job (sales) is such that part-time would be next to impossible - customers don't care if you've got a kid you said you'd be home to by 3pm for...so I'd end up working full-time anyway, while being paid for part-time. Might as well do it all the way!

Thoughts from the Zen Room

As I sit here in my company's "Zen Room" (a small conference room with a lock on the door, meant to comply with the FMLA requirements for a private non-bathroom for women to pump in), I'm reflecting again on how lucky I am. We have a beautiful, healthy son, I'm in reasonably good shape physically & mentally, as is Yogesh, we have a competent, caring nanny & his mom coming over too, I have a job that I love, with a mission I believe in (and where a colleague even brought me welcome-back balloons!), and we live in a place we love.

I feel so lucky, that sometimes (like now) I worry when my luck will run out. I try to push the "panicked thoughts" out of my head, but after talking with some other moms, I think it's natural for us to worry: 'Is he ok? Is Yangchen crossing the street with him only when the 'Walk' signal is lit? Is she ill & thus he'll get sick? Changing his diaper when he's wet? Singing to him when he's fussy? Am *I* doing all of the things I should be doing, to help guide him to be a caring, productive citizen of this earth? Aargh!

To keep myself sane (somewhat debatable, I know) I tell myself continually that this working-baby raising lifestyle will be hard, but it will be worth it. We shall see! :-)

...and Nursing Musings

You may file this in the 'too much information' category, but I thought I'd share: Pumping @ work has been ok in the 2 times I've done it so far. But a problem I noticed a week ago is being exacerbated by pumping: I'm lopsided!

Not too noticeable to the untrained eye, but one breast produces MUCH more than the other (no, I won't tell you which one), to the tune of 2-3 ounces per pumping session! So, anyone know where I can buy bras with different cup sizes? ;-)

Day 8: Gifts & Thanks (or lack thereof!)

Having a baby means that lots of people who care about you (or at least care about your family) will send you nice things. The latest items in this category are 2 fabulous childrens' books that my parents' friends Wilma & Andy sent us. While books are always nice, these are rather special - they were illustrated by Andy's brother, Ned - and they're gorgeous! One is even signed by Ned - how Ned is clearly a fabulous artist who puts love and attention into his work. I can't wait to read them to Deven!

Yogesh's father is a professional painter as well, but has quite a different style. He's a modern artist; who I describe as "Modigliani on color-steroids." But he, and Yogesh, can appreciate nice artwork, and I can't wait for Yogesh to get home to see these books and share them with Deven. These books, however, are ones that we will NOT let Deven gum-on as he teeths!

In the same category of 'fabulous gifts from mom's friends that I haven't sent proper thank-you notes for yet' are:

• The pale yellow blanket that Carla M knitted for Deven - we use it all the time (it's complete with knitted-in images of Maryland things such as lighthouses, crabs, boats, etc.)!



• The smaller knitted blanket from Aunt Carol is perfect for his naps 'round the house/yard/etc. Both of those are machine-washable...a very good thing as he's constantly drooling on them or getting them messy in some way.



• The 4 yummy, nutritious meals that our friend Sugeet cooked for us, and just called and dropped by (without insisting to come in) when Deven was ~ 4-6 weeks old; saving us from starvation and embarassment of having to entertain when I & the house were both a wreck

I hope that the gifters don't consider us complete social philistines for not saying thank-you properly...I hope they (having had kids themselves) understand that it's a little crazy around here lately, and we really appreciate the gifts and think of them every time we use what they gave us.

It's funny - in fact, I've at least tried to 'give forward' - though I don't have Wilma's or Carla's snail-mail address to send them proper cards; I at least try to do nice things for other people. Today, I brought some food over to Amie, our share-care partner who's still home with her little guy Noah. I figure if I can't say thanks back to the people who were nice to me, at least I'd continue doing nice things for other people. Makes the world a little better place.

Days 6-8 sans Daddy: Last days off...

I go back to work tomorrow. Excited, nervous, and still 2 dress sizes above my pre-pregnancy weight. Sigh. Excited because I love what I do and can't wait to get back into projects I left unfinished when Deven came early. Nervous because I don't know what I don't know about what's changed at the office; and I've never pumped breast milk there - I'm sure that will be a challenge, at least logistically. And still 2 dress sizes up, because I ate for 6 when I was pregnant. ;-)

This week, Deven has developed a love of standing while being supported - particularly on my belly, while I'm doing situps/crunches.

Had a 'last Boot Camp coffee break' with some of the gals from the Baby Boot Camp this morning - it was nice. Photo shows: Kopal (in the center) is the coach/instructor/owner, with her 16-month old son; Amie is another student, with her 10-month old son - she's from the UK, and that's me & the little Devil on the left. In the other photo you can see how Deven likes to have 'tummy time' atop my legs - he giggles endlessly when I do crunches this way! Challenge will be to keep on working out as I go back to work.

Skipped the sign language playgroup tonight; so I could spend the last evening with Deven. Planning to gracefully exit from some other 'extracurriculars' as well over the next month - Yogesh said (and is right) that any time spent on those sorts of things now is time away from Deven. I can always go back to the volunteer work later - I'm sure they'll still need good volunteers then!

Tonight, he was sweet, giggly, loved my singing, and finally went down ~7:45pm. I know to expect him to wake a lot over the next few nights as I go back (supposedly he'll miss me)...in fact, I hope he does miss me. I hear that kids always know their parents, though they also love their nannies or caretakers...I sure hope that's true for Deven, too.

I just think about leaving him, and I miss him. I think this transition will be harder on me than on him! His nanny, Yangchen, is great (that's her holding him in the photo), and his Daadi (grandma) will arrive on Saturday with Yogesh to live with us for 6 months, so he'll have no end of spoiling, I'm sure.

Oh, see here for a photo is of me with Deven in the new Ergo carrier. Still love this thing - super comfy for both of us. Wish me luck at the office!

Day 5 without Papa: (over)Stimulated in the City

Great day today - the weather, I mean!

We started the morning with Deven in the jumper, and a brief Ergo carrier instructional video in the DVD player. It was the first time Deven had been in the room with the TV on, and he was mesmerized...reinforcing my resolve to NOT allow him to watch too much tv. I mean none until he's at least 2. Luckily this shouldn't be too much of a problem - we currently have 6 remotes (5 that work); and it takes 2 of them to turn on the TV, or a different 2 to watch a DVD. I'd like to see even the most precocious child or nanny figure this system out!

We went to brunch @ Sugeet & Sanjeev's home, where Deven finally got to meet Uncle Supreet (Devenator meets Turbinator, as we like to say!) Lots of photos taken but I can't find my camera - so a few will be posted when I get them via email. Deven was great - cooing, gurgling, laughing, and flirting with Sugeet... until he'd had enough. Then, meltdown #1 of the day. He started wailing, and simply didn't stop until I put him in his carrier and had him in the car for the ride home.

So, then Aunt Karen came over, and we went for a walk on this gorgeous afternoon, and to get our nails done (an annual birthday event for Aunt Karen & me - we always do it late, but at least we get around to it!) Deven was in the Ergo, and again was quite the charmer, on the walk and in the nail studio. Until we tried to push him too far by going to dinner @ Savor around 6:15pm... and he had meltdown #2. He was sweet at first, cooing as he lay on the bench, but before I got my burger, he started wailing again...and didn't stop until we walked out of there on the way home (my burger in a box thanks to Karen's quick thinking!)

When we got home, he cooed and was happy again, and after a quick nursing on the bed, he was out for the night by 7:00pm. Interesting that his bedtime has moved earlier, so let's hope this is part of a trend to sleep through the night soon...cross your fingers for us!

Days 3-4 without Dad: Carrier Dealer...

...Yogesh had accused me of being a 'stroller dealer' because we've already owned 6 strollers in Deven's short life. Well, he might as well change my nickname to 'baby-carrier-dealer' because we now have owned 3 soft carriers for Deven.

1. First, there was the New Native sling: a simple black piece of fabric that worked well when Deven was 1 week old and we walked to the pediatrician (1/2 block away). But...as Deven grew, he outgrew the sling - not physically, but he acted like a cat in a bathtub if we tried to put him in it after about 3 weeks old. So...
2. ...then we started using the Bjorn: a carrier I'd seen lots and heard good things about; so we got the Baby Bjorn Active (complete with lumbar support!) My sister bought it for us off our registry - it was great. Deven had recently switched to 'front-facing' carry and loved being able to see all the action. Until I realized that I was getting awfully tired carrying Deven's now-15-lb body around in it for anything more than 1/2 hour. And, I read an article (or was it an email posting to GGMG?) that said that the Bjorn can be bad for kids when used for extended periods, because the baby's weight is on their hips (not butt, as other carriers).
3. So now, we are the proud owners of a Ergo Baby carrier in cranberry (maroon) color - and I love it! It can be worn front, hip, or back (baby always facing inwards) - the weight is on the hips, not the shoulders or back, and hands are totally free to do the 1,001 things needed to be done 'round here. Fabulous. Deven's already spent more time in it, and seemed quite content. I'd take a photo of it if I could find our camera...

Deven has definitely found his toes - consistently grabs them when lying down. He also doesn't really like to be on his back now - cries/whimpers/screams after just a few seconds. He's consistently rolling to his side and occasionally all-the-way over if put down - making diaper changes fun - but he definitely LOVES his jumper now. Will spend upwards of 30 minutes in it, happily batting at the toys on it. He hasn't really figured out how to really jump in it yet, but I'm sure that will come.

He's sleeping at an earlier time - naps are sort of consistent (though still not long enough. After waking for the day @ ~ 7:00am, today's naps, for an example, were:

• 8:30am: 30 minutes in the crib (usually 9:15am, in the stroller)
• 11:00am: 1 hour in the stroller @ the Noe Valley Farmer's Market - where we get most of our vegetables and fruit - and our weekly fix of yummy pastries from the nice bread lady, Cindy (the vegetable family from Laos can't wait until Mama comes back - she's one of their favorite customers!)
• 2:00pm: ~ 45 minutes in bed next to me (ooh, why wasn't it longer?!?). Enjoyed the new Ergo.
• 5:00pm: Yawns...but no sleep. Played in the jumper - but wouldn't nod off.
• 6:00pm: More yawns...but no sleep. Fussiness.
• 7:00pm: Ate then was out in my arms by 7:15pm. 1-minute whimper for more food; which was accommodated (sp?) and has been out in his crib since ~ 8:00pm.

I am glad he's not too difficult to put down, but I wish he'd nap longer. I'm sure it'll change again as he grows and I go back to work and the nanny and his Daadi are here to care for him. We shall see!

Day 2 sans Papa: A Thousand Splendid Suns

So I'm a part of a large moms' group network, the Golden Gate Mothers Group . There's a subgroup for Indian / South Asian moms & moms of Indian babes (like me), called SFDesiBaby, and that group has a small group of us who've formed a book club. This is my first foray into book-club stuff; and our first novel we read was A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseni (see NYT review here). Great novel - totally worth the effort, though I liked his first book, The Kite Runner, better, because I felt this one ended with a sort of fairy tale "and they lived happily ever after" quality. I love that my mom's group has allowed me the opportunity to join a book club. Whoda' thunk it? :-)

But I digress...this blog is about Deven, not his mom. He was pretty good today; and when he wasn't, I put him in the Bjorn, and he slept. He has had some unusual new things happen today: he's been spitting up partially-curdled milk (bleh), though he hastn't been a spitter at all otherwise to date; and he's been pooping a lot more. I don't mean a few juicy fartlets- I mean full on big-smelly-diaper-filling poops. Don't know if I've been eating something wrong; or he's still reacting to his 4-month shots, or what. Will watch it.

I'm getting excited/nervous/sad about going back to work next week. I start back on 8/16. A Thursday. I love my job, but Deven is so darned cute right now. I'm SOOO glad I like our Nanny, Yangchen; and even gladder that Yogesh's mom will come stay with us - having her here will alleviate some of my guilt (though that means I'll just be sad, because I'm sure I'll miss lots of milestones that they'll get to witness 'for the 1st time'.)

Oh, I didn't catch Deven at all today in time to use his potty, but thought any readers would enjoy the photo anyway. I'm sure he'll hate this when he's 14 (or likely even well before then!) but that's what he gets for being born to a minimally-tech-savvy mom in the Bay Area in 2007:

Day 1 without Daddy: What's the sign for lederhosen?

Aunt Danielle & Uncle John just returned from a 6-week European trip across Romania, Hungary, and Germany - and brought back these sporty lederhosen for Deven, complete with edelweiss flower (a symbol of Austria - where Naani Gerda's from). Cute, huh?

Today's been pretty uneventful for Deven - Grandma & Grandpa left super-early so we didn't get to see them; we woke early (6:15am), pooped on the potty, attended the Baby Boot Camp class @ midday, followed by a visit from Aunt Danielle, didn't get much done in the afternoon (allowed mom to upload photos)...and tonight, we walked up the big hill to Diamond Heights for the Baby Sign Language Playgroup, where we learned more symbols from American Sign Language (ASL).

So, what's the sign for lederhosen? :-)

Enjoy the videos!

Frog Attacks Boy...(or is it Boy Attacks Frog?!?)

Photos don't do the situation justice: Deven attacked that frog like he was holding it down for the police to make an arrest!

Naani (Grandma) Gerda & Naana (Grandpa) Doug are back in town before they head to Alaska for their 40th Anniversary Cruise. Wow. While here, Grandma reminded us that we hadn't put him in some cute outfits that she bought for him - and so we did...and they're almost too small already. Darn it! Well, we'll have to put him in them a lot before he outgrows them.


4 MONTH CHECKUP

Deven had more shots and a clean bill of health. Vitals:

• Weight 14 lbs, 15 oz (60th Percentile; down from 75th...something I immediately & silently blamed on myself...is he drinking from the bottle too much? Am I not producing enough? Why is he 'down'? OK, I'll get over it...)


• Height 25.5" long (75th Percentile, same as @ his 2 month appt)


• Head circumference ____ (75th Percentile- I can't remember the exact #s but I know he was there again)

Life @ Home

Yogesh left today for a 10-day trip to India for work and to bring back Daadi (his mom). While I'm excited to have her come stay with us again (I know she'll LOVE being with Deven, and he'll fall in love with her), I'm dreading the next 10 days without him. I start back to work on 8/16, BEFORE he returns...not going to be easy! House is still messy; I've got the Nanny coming next Mon-Tues just so I can spend some quality time with the messy 3rd bedroom and my closet (which still is in the post-maternity-clothes transition).

Having Daadi here should be a huge help to me - I still remember my mom saying, quite seriously, that "every working woman needs a wife to come home to." When she lived with us last year (during my pregnancy) she was precisely that - someone who cared for me almost more than I did, she cooked for me, doted on me, and was very excited to be part of our lives. I'm looking forward to her coming (but not the next 10 days before she arrives!)

Back to Deven. In the past week, I've noticed some changes:

Deven has BEGUN

• "Fake couging" for attention. It's sort of cute, so I respond - though our pediatrician says he'll keep doing it if we do...


• Actively laughing - more than just giggling


• Eating his toes


• Enjoying sitting up more


• Teething (or at least chewing on everything for pain relief)


• Rolling regularly


• Pushing up on his forearms while on his belly - super cute. Of course, I'm biased.


• Peeing on the potty quite a bit. Yep, it's working. :-)

Deven has STOPPED

• Showing the 'tonic neck' or archer, walking, and butt-movin' reflexes


• Hiccuping (sp?)...something he'd done since about 6 mos in utero. I sort of miss it!


• Enjoying sleeping on someone. It's his crib, jogger, or nothing!


• Lots of other things that I can't think of right now...